Adolescence: ‘I’ve done nothing wrong’.

Reflecting on watching Adolescence this week, this was the haunting phrase that Jamie repeated over and over. At 13, there was a part of him that was already so far gone, so deeply radicalised, that he believed that he was justified in doing what he did.

For anyone working in the male violence against women sector, seeing a show like Adolescence finally beginning a full-scale societal discourse on this issue is very much welcome. And this particular piece of television is masterful because it mirrors our society right now: There are live stories in the press of young men and boys emboldened by misogynist radicalisers, murdering young women and girls. There are boys in every school in the country watching these radicalisers on social media right now. We need to face up to the fact that it is only a matter of time before it happens again. That is our reality. 

Because of this, I’m grateful that there is now an incredibly well-made piece of television in the mainstream that explains the culture in which young boys are being brought up. The discussion amongst adults, educators and the Government is essential for them to begin to understand and grapple with the real-life implications of a chronically online generation on the extreme violence against women and girls that overwhelms our society. 

But after watching the fourth and final episode, I couldn’t help but feel that one story hasn’t been told. 

If I asked you what the name of the murderer was, it’s likely on the tip of your tongue - Jamie. 

But what if I asked you what the murdered girl’s name was? Or the name of her bereft best friend? Can you recall their names with as much certainty? 

It’s vital that we hear and understand the narrative around the manosphere, incel culture, and the vulnerability of young boys in today’s society. These stories are critical if we’re to confront the root causes of male violence. However, to truly hold a mirror up to our world—one that reflects what it means to be a boy today, where the lines between traditional and toxic masculinity blur, where male vulnerability and rage intertwine—we must also hold that mirror up to those who bear the brunt of this violence - women and girls. 

'Adolescence' focuses on Jamie, but it fails to fully show us the consequences of his actions on those his actions impacted most. We never get to see the grieving parents. We don’t know if Katie’s death left a sibling without a sister. We never learn if she had dreams of studying history, or if she wanted to take A-Levels, just like Jamie. Her story is largely reduced to a photo, an account of bullying with emojis, and a deeply tragic incident involving a topless picture that circulated in school. Her life, and her potential, end with the grainy CCTV footage of her murder.

To truly grasp the scale of Jamie’s actions, we needed to feel the emptiness left behind when Katie was torn from the world.

A fifth episode, focused on her story through the eyes of those closest to her, could have powerfully illustrated the deep, lasting impact of male violence against women. It would have allowed the viewer to fully understand the devastating consequences of Jamie’s rage.

But this framing, or lack thereof, is not new. It is an all-too-familiar narrative in storytelling, in news coverage, and in how we discuss these crimes: women and girls become footnotes in their own murders.

So yes, tell the story of the world today in which The Boy is being brought up. Tell the story about the role we all have to play in creating a society that nurtures and protects. Show how desperately young boys need love, reassurance, tenderness and positive role models. Adolescence has done this brilliantly. 

But we must also tell the stories of the girls and women whose lives are shattered by these toxic ideologies. We need to hear their voices and recognise their humanity. Because only when their stories are told, and only when women and girls are seen and valued as people, can we hope that fewer of us will be hurt or killed by boys and men. 

Until then, the cycle will continue, and women and girls will remain invisible in their own tragedies.

Thanks to Charlotte Archibald

Violence Against Women & Girls Campaigner based in a frontline service.